Sunday, June 14, 2020

The Lace Makers - Chapter 1 - Emerald

Emerald

 

The sun peeping over the old barn where I hear the cow moaning to get milked.  The air sharp like little pins and needles where my arms be peeking out from my shawl.  I watch the sky turning the color a egg yolks Mama like to break jest to watch 'em get runny.  She do that sometimes.  Break them egg yolks for Massa and keep on frying 'em 'til they hard as shoe leather. 

He don't say nothing.  Jest gobble 'em up like they be the best thing he ever et.  Sometime Massa even say, "Lord, Ruby...these eggs are truly delicious." 

He know to keep his mouth shut 'round Mama 'bout eggs and such.  He the Massa and all, but he owe my mama a lot.  He owe her a husband.  He owe me my daddy.

Massa done gambled Daddy away in a poker game two year ago.  He told a mean old man that 'stead a paying him money, that man could take any one a his slaves.  My sisters and me was scared out our minds...'fraid one a us gone be chained to his wagon and made to stumble 'hind like a dern mule as Mister Rotten drove back to his plantation. 

They older than me...my sisters, Pearl and Opal.  When my daddy got taken away, I was only six.  They was fourteen and twelve back then.  Big girls.  Now they has husbands and Pearl having a baby a her own come summertime.  Opal say a baby coming over her dead body, but I don't know what that mean.  She gone kill herself when the baby come?  Or she not want any babies at all?  I hear some slaves kill they own babies, but I cain't imagine my mama doing such a thing 'cause she loves me like a bird loves to fly.

I know I don't want no babies a my own 'cause I know they ain't gone be mine anyway.  Anything we got, it be Massa’s first.

When I tell Opal that, she say, "Emmie, you is smart!  I chew my cotton root ever day since Hale and me jumped the broom and you ain't gone find no baby in my belly, no suh.  Hale and me say that when we be free, we can has babies then."

I has no idea 'bout what it mean to be free 'cause I been a slave ever since I took my first breath.  Since Mama put knitting needles in my hands when I was only three and say, "Play with 'em, Emerald, and soon you be making hats for Massa's chil'ren."  Mama say she done teach me how to sew and make lace and all them fancy things so I can stay with her in the big house, not like my sisters who gots to work in the fields and such.  I's lucky 'cause I get to be with Mama always...and that jest the way I like it.

My sisters called Pearl and Opal and I called Emerald 'cause Daddy say he got him a bunch a precious jewels living under his roof, such as it be.  Plus my eyes be green and that how I got my name ‘cause they look like that pretty stone Missus wear on her ring finger.  Mama don’t have green eyes and neither did Daddy. 

But Massa do. 

I figure I gone be his slave 'til the day I die...or 'til he do.  But Opal say the war that raging all over the country 'bout setting us all free, that one day, they ain't gone be no more slaves.

What gone happen then?  Will I get taken from Mama...or she from me?  What from I already done seen, they ain't no telling.

 

Two year ago, Pearl and Opal was standing near the barn when that mean man, Mister Rotten, stumble toward the place where my daddy do his work.  Mister Rotten not be his real name, but I's naughty and call him that under my breath whenever he come on Massa's land.  His real name be Mister Birch like them trees growing in the back a our shack.  But the only thing white 'bout Mister Rotten be his skin 'cause his words be black as tar and his soul be dark as the bottom of the well where I pull up buckets a water to tote to the big house. 

 When Mister Rotten went past the folks in the yard, I heard him yelling, "You niggers get back to work!"  He and Massa was drunk as skunks.  I could tell by the way they was walking, and ain't nothing good ever come when Massa be drinking.

Daddy look up from the anvil where he been banging on a piece a iron.  He be the best horseshoe maker in the county.  Or least he was.  Now he dead, so I 'magine him in heaven doing God's bidding. 

Mama was in the house with me on that horrible day.  She been cooking supper while I sat knitting at the table near the open window so I could hear what was going on outside.  Mama always say I has a gift from the Father God Almighty.  She tell me I make lace an angel be proud to wear.  When she say that, I feel my chest puff up and my heart grow wings.

But not on the day Daddy got taken away from me. 

Mister Rotten pointed his shaky finger toward the barn.  "That buck's uglier than sin," he snarled.  "But he'll do just fine."

Mama knew something bad gone happen, and she always been right 'bout things like that. "You has the gift a lace-making, Emerald," she told me one time.  "But you also has the gift a insight, jest like I has it and my mama and her mama 'fore her."

"What insight?" I asked.

"Knowing when things gone happen," Mama said.  "Like a prophecy."

I looked at her like I still confuse. 

"Don't worry, baby girl," Mama told me.  "You gone learn how it feel soon enough."

And ain't it the truth if I do. 

When Mama ran to the barn after Massa and Mister Rotten, I felt a little cornbread I jest et start to curl up in my stomach and fix to pop right back out.  It didn't though,  jest ride up my throat a little, but I swallowed it back down. 

"Massa Sam!" Mama cried, running like her feet on fire.  "Please Massa Sam...please don't let him take my babies!" 

By the time she reached Massa, she was shaking 'cause she so upset.  Angry and scared both, and I ain't never seen her like that 'fore.  I stood in the doorway a the kitchen, my heart banging in my chest, but I couldn't move 'cause my feets felt like they was nailed to the floor.

Mama pulled on Massa's sleeve, crying, "Please Sam...don't give him my Pearl or Opal!  I begging you!  I do anything you want.  Please!"

Massa looked at Mama and a strange look crossed his face.  He ain't never hit none a us.  Run a clean plantation where the slaves be happy to work -- or at least that how he tell it.  He be the boss, the overseer, and the owner all in one.  Not like some a them plantations we hear 'bout from Earle, the slave who sometime ride along with Mister Rotten when they make deliveries to the big house.  Earle say some slaves get whipped.  Some get hung 'til they nearly dead.  Some get sold to places far away from Lincoln County, Tennessee.

But Massa ain't never been mean to none a us...least not that I seen.  When he been drinking, it always be Missus he take his anger out on and I feel right sorry for her.  But when Mama beg Massa, I knowed she done embarrass him in front a Mister Rotten. 

Maybe he gone hit her now, I thought. 

But I ain't never seen no whipping on Settler's Plantation.  No hanging neither.  There been slaves living here since Massa Settler's daddy built this place fifty year ago.  Long 'fore I was born, and ain't nobody ever tell Massa what to do. 

'Til now.

When Mama thought Pearl and Opal gone be taken away, she screeched like the devil and pulled on Massa's sleeve.  She screamed.  She cried.  She begged something fierce.

"You got yerself one righteous nigger, Samuel," Mister Rotten said, his voice all mean-like.  "But I do like a spitfire...maybe I'll change my mind about that buck."

It then I think Mister Rotton gone take my Mama, so I ran to her side and grabbed her skirt, holding on tight.  "Mama," I cried.  "Don't let them take you away!"

Massa looked at Mama and his eyes be wet with tears.  "You and your girls aren't going anywhere, Ruby.  You have my word."

Mama fell at his feet, taking me right on with her.  "Thank You, Jesus," she wailed.  "Thank you, Sam!"

But when she dried her eyes enough to look up, she see my daddy be talking to Massa and Mister Rotten.  Daddy's eyes was filling up.  He bit his lip.  His shoulders shook. 

"Mas-sa," I heard him say, the word sticking in his throat.  "Massa...please don't do this...I do anything you want.  I do anything.  Work like a dog all winter long.  You can hire me out to Massa Birch here...I go to his place to work and then come back and be with Ruby and my chil'ren."

Massa Settler shook his head, and I knowed this be the end, and I ain't never gone see my Daddy again.  By the way Massa looked at Mama, I knowed he feel he gone owe us plenty for what he jest done.

Daddy didn't fight.  He didn't do nothing but hug Mama.  Hug Pearl.  Hug Opal.  Hug me.

He whispered in my ear, "Baby girl, you and I gone see each other 'gain.  We is...I promise.  I gone get free and we all going up north once this war be done.  I gone come back for all ya."

I didn't say nothing, jest let my tears fall while I hugged my daddy like I was trying to memorize the way he feel.  His face was covered in stubbly hair.  His muscles was tight.  His skin soaked in sweat.  He been working hard, but I know this sweat was from fear.  Back then, I was too young to know what of, but I learned right quick.

Daddy tried to get free too soon.

He run off once and get his back whipped something awful. 

He run off again and get hung from a rope 'til his tongue turned black. 

The third time he tried to run and come back to us, Mister Rotten said he done had enough a my daddy and hang him 'til he dead.  Ever day since then, I's scared he gone come back and take Mama, too.

But Earle say now Daddy in heaven watching over us every day.  "Him and Jesus both," he told me while he be drying my eyes.  "They ain't gone let nothing bad happen to you or your sweet mama."

Poor Earle got whipped for crying when Mister Rotten kilt my daddy.  I heard it right from the dern horse's mouth 'cause Mister Rotten brag 'bout it to Massa.  He say any slave who spill a tear for another one deserve to suffer a little, too.

I know Mister Rotten be the devil right here on earth and he gone suffer plenty on the other side when hell be the only place wicked enough to hold him.

 

Now the sun rise higher over the barn and I hear a shrill train whistle in the distance.  Shivering in my shawl, I head to the big house where Mama be waiting on me to help cook breakfast.  It be early April, or so Missus Settler say.  She oughta know.  Got her nose stuck in books and calendars all day long. 

Missus teach me all kinds a things.  Like I know it be the day after Palm Sunday, and that be the celebration of Lord Jesus when He come to Jerusalem and all a them folks be waving palm branches and yelling stuff like, "Hosanna!" and "Blessed is He who come in the name of the Lord." 

I read all 'bout that in Massa's big Bible.

I can read and write good as his kids, even though that against the law.  Missus Settler could get in a heap a trouble if anyone find out, so I keep my mouth shut and my eyes busy whenever she hand me a book. Massa and Missus' kids, Little Sam and Marybelle, be 'round the same age as me, and we all learn together.  Marybelle be better at learning figures, but Little Sam and me be quick as lightning with new words.

Missus nice to me and all, but I know my place in the order a things 'round here.  Ever time I finish my lessons, Missus say, "Now Emerald, please go fetch me a cup of tea." 

She ain't never ask her kids to do nothing but put they books back on the shelf 'fore they go outside to play.  Mama say I may be Missus Settler's student, but I always gone be her slave first.  No matter how smart I is, I still gone be colored 'til the day I die. 

But then Mama say not to worry 'bout such things.  "You cain't change nobody's mind but your own," she tell me.  "So keep reading and learning so you can keep on changing for the better."

So I do.

Jest last night I finish the second McGuffey Reader. I read all 'bout Jimmy getting up in the morning.  The sun is just peeping up over the hills in the east, it say.  I memorize them words so I can repeat 'em back to myself while I knit or sew or dust or sweep.  Never forget, before you leave your room, to thank God for His kindness.  He is indeed kinder to us than any earthy parent.

This morning as the sun be rising, I say my prayers and thank the Lord for all the things I love.  Mama and my sisters.  My lace making and reading and all the things I be learning.  And like always, I thank Him for it being one day closer to when I gone see my daddy.

Then I walk to the kitchen where I know Mama gone be breaking Massa's egg yolks and he gone be eating 'em like they fit for God Hisself.



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