Thursday, April 23, 2015

Runnin' on empty...again

            After thirteen months of research, and three months of writing, I've reached the finish line for THE LACE MAKERS.  Once the final galley is proofed next week, the book will finally be out of my hands and into yours.  On a hike at Wildwood today I was thinking, "Now what?"   
            Jackson Browne's incredible song suffices yet again....

Runnin' on empty
Originally published on June 11, 2014

I've got a lot of time on my hands these days. 
No longer sitting in front of my computer from dawn until the wee hours of the morning writing, editing, and formatting, there's a lot I want to accomplish this summer...and all of it a joy to anticipate.
I've spent the majority of the past twenty years getting my act together.  Getting some good therapy.  Getting my proverbial house in order.  Taking care of putting the past to rest so I can move on, unencumbered by the weight of all the crap I no longer want to drag around in my psyche or otherwise.
It's often been a tedious process, this "unbecoming."  This shedding my skin.  I've written about it in countless blogs.  Embodied it within all of the characters I created in my novels. Evolved it through my yoga and meditation practice.  Yes, there's still more to learn.  More to experience.  More to create.
But now it's my intention to create something brand new.
Now I can spend my days teaching yoga and working in my gardens.  Reading books that have been gathering dust on my shelves this winter into spring as I spent most of my time preparing my memoir and novels for publication.  I can set up coffee dates with friends and starting dating again (in whatever form it will take) in the hopes of opening up that much more to what's being offered to me in the present.  To see by experience just how much of the past I've truly put into perspective.  To see if a relationship is in the cards or if it's just the hormones talking.
I plan to clean and glean my house from top to bottom, letting go of everything I haven't used or no longer need.  Every day I'll hit the road on my bike or hike at the park and enjoy the beauty of the ever-changing landscape.  And I hope to put in a raised garden in the backyard and finally grow my own kale, chard, and sweet peppers.
Yes, a creative summer is in the works and why not?  I've hollowed out the space and time to enjoy it.  To embrace it.  To ease into a simple schedule of yoga classes and private clients.  For me, less is more...and that applies to more than just my "must do" list.

It's only been a week since my desk has been cleared of manuscripts and rewrites and copyright documents.  Only seven days since I promised myself a three-month break from writing (except for the odd blog here and there).  At first I was nervous...anxious about what I'd do with my time.  That I'd go stir crazy without a half-written novel in the mix. 
But surprisingly, I'm not.  For I've found that I don't need to have a list full of items to check off.  A lot of baggage to sift through.  A lot of issues to process to make me feel feel as though I'm accomplishing something.
I've discovered it's a joy to choose a drama-free existence.  To open up to new possibilities that have nothing to do with what has come before this moment in time.  To willingly accept the space I've allowed myself to ease into during this season of light.

For now, I'm running on empty...and loving every minute of it.